Perfectly Chosen Family

It was a beautiful day in July.   My birthmother and I had decided to meet at a local park.   How do you prepare for this? By that time, the social worker that was in charge of our case had mostly just left us to our own devices.   When deciding where to meet, we had described ourselves and what we would be wearing…as though we were going on a blind date. It seems so ridiculous now.   I pulled my car into the parking lot and took a deep breath, the butterflies in my stomach were intense.   I was so very nervous, but mostly excited. As a got out, a woman was walking towards the car, we both awkwardly smiled and knew immediately it was us.   We hugged, and then she pushed me backwards by my shoulders, I’ll never forget, she said “let me look at you”.   We were both quietly freaking out, it’s hard to even find words to describe it.   I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way in my life, and likely never will again.   It’s...

Although Mother’s Day is still a few weeks away, the cards in the store and constant online reminders quickly trigger the stress and anxiety I feel every year. It seems no matter what I do, I can’t get this holiday right.  Either I feel like I didn’t do enough, or I do nothing at all…and I’ve hurt everyone’s feelings.  Between my birthmother and my mom, every year it is an emotional tug-of-war that makes me feel like I’m leaving my birthmother out, or not being fair to my mom. I lived in another province for about a decade, so I was able to avoid the holiday almost completely. Honestly, I didn’t even want to think about it   and actively tried to spend as little time on it as I could. I have now moved back to the same province that they are both in. So, I had no choice but to face my anxiety and emotions head on.   I needed to think about how I could possibly honour both of them and feel good about it. I once had another adoptive mothe...