Perfectly Chosen Family

I am taking a step backwards for this post.   My last post was about the day I met my birthmother, however I would like to go back a month prior to that.   I was hanging out at my best friend Marie’s house, she had been an incredible support during this process (and every day since in every area of my life), we spent lots of our time together.   We were about to drive to my house, but when we went outside we saw a cat that looked quite sick.   It was laying on the lawn just about a house away from hers, was shaved from the neck all the way to the tail and looked really rough.   We needed to do something.   Marie tried to get the cat to come to her but it wasn’t budging.   I am more of a dog person, (I never know what cats are thinking) but felt really badly for this particular cat.   I approached it and tried to call it, to my surprise it came right to me!   I picked the cat up and took it to my car.   We would take it t...

It was a beautiful day in July.   My birthmother and I had decided to meet at a local park.   How do you prepare for this? By that time, the social worker that was in charge of our case had mostly just left us to our own devices.   When deciding where to meet, we had described ourselves and what we would be wearing…as though we were going on a blind date. It seems so ridiculous now.   I pulled my car into the parking lot and took a deep breath, the butterflies in my stomach were intense.   I was so very nervous, but mostly excited. As a got out, a woman was walking towards the car, we both awkwardly smiled and knew immediately it was us.   We hugged, and then she pushed me backwards by my shoulders, I’ll never forget, she said “let me look at you”.   We were both quietly freaking out, it’s hard to even find words to describe it.   I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way in my life, and likely never will again.   It’s...

It is a very interesting thing, to write letters to the person who gave birth to you...and yet is a stranger. Thankfully, my birthmother wrote the first letter. To my surprise she addressed it to me by first name. I had specifically told the adoption disclosure worker NOT to provide my name. Initially, I felt very exposed, however little did I know how much knowing my first name meant to my birthmother.  When she was pregnant with me, her sister was also expecting. It was a very different circumstance as her sister was married and expecting their second child. She gave birth to a girl, born three months after me. By absolute chance, we share the same name!  In the years between my birth and this early stage in our reunion, my birthmother had watched my cousin grow up, seeing where I would be in development and milestones. It had helped her cope with the loss of placing me for adoption. Life is a crazy thing!! We wrote letters to each other for...