My Story, in a Nutshell

I have always known that I was adopted, that conversation happened before I have any memories of it. It wasn't something that we talked about as a family, but anyone that knew me knew that I was adopted...it was something pretty cool that made me really unique.  I was an only child living with my parents, extended family and a multitude of pets all under one roof.  My parents taught me the value of hard work and often went without to ensure I had everything that I needed and more.  

​

Our family was full of love.  I spent summers at the cottage with my cousins and visited Florida with Grandparents in the winter.  I participated in a number of activities and we always had lots of friends and family around.  Our house was busy and that was exactly how I liked it.  

​

In my early 20's, I registered to find my birth mother.  Despite assuming nothing would come of it, I received a called the following day informing me that a match had been found.  Through complete shock, I felt excited, nervous, guilty, thrilled and terrified.  My birth mother and I wrote letters back and forth, trying to learn about who the other person was, while still trying to be careful not to expose too much of ourselves.  After months of letter writing, we decided that it was time to meet.  This also meant that it was time I found the opportunity (and courage) to share the news with my parents that I had even begun to search. I decided to tell my parents at the cottage, where we had shared so many family memories; they were surprised, a bit taken back but as always supported and loved me.

​

My birthmother and I met shortly after.  There is nothing that will prepare you for a moment like this, you have so much in common and yet are perfect strangers.  Over the next few months we got together regularly and tried to learn a little more about each other.  We expanded our small circle,  I met her husband, siblings, parents and her kids.  Growing up as an only child, having instant siblings was very exciting, they have continued to be some of the most amazing people I have ever met.  I am so proud and blessed to have them in my life.  

​

Not only did my family expand, so did theirs.  While trying to navigate what this meant for all of us, it was time for both "families" to meet.  We shared dinner together and later had a BBQ at the house I had spent my whole life in.  I was proud to share what my life had looked like up to this point and although it was emotional for everyone involved, it was important that I knew I didn't have to keep these "lives" separate.  This was a major life event, the only way I wanted to work through it was together.  

​

It has been over ten years, since all of our lives changed forever.  On this journey, we have had wonderful moments that brought so much joy, others that were awkward and uncomfortable and many that we have done our best to navigate at the time and learned from in hindsight. Although we are well past day one, we have a long way to go.  Some days, I find it hard to believe that something this exceptional is part of my story; although I wouldn't re-write it any other way. 

I welcome your questions and comments.  Post here or email me at PerfectlyChosenFamily@gmail.com

Sincerely,

PCF