Our Shared Journey - Introduction and Welcome

-



Families come together in a variety of wonderful and unique ways.  My family was brought together through adoption, myself as the adoptee. I would like to use this platform to explore the many intricacies that adoption has brought into my personal experience as well as the experience of other family members. Although initially adoption will be my main focus, I would also like to have the opportunity to pursue and celebrate all of the incredible ways that families are created.  

Life is a journey, not a destination.  In adoption, whether you are the adoptee, adoptive parent or birthparent there are joys and sorrows that all centre around the same life event.  Although each individual situation has it's own unique factors, we also share many of the same experiences, thoughts, fears, dreams and emotions.  

 By sharing together, we can build a community of trust, support, honesty, love and acceptance.  The African proverb states "It takes a village to raise a child". In whatever manner your family is created, it will be part of your lifelong identity and all those in your life are citizens of that village.  

 My goal is to facilitate, open, honest, thought provoking conversations where all are accepted and celebrated; with the intent of supporting diverse, healthy, resilient families. By openly sharing my experience, learning your stories and responding to your questions, we can embrace each other and learn from one another to build strong family bonds.

 Thank you for visiting my blog, please feel free to leave question or topics that you would like to be discussed. If you are not comfortable posting, please email me at PerfectlyChosenFamily@gmail.com

                                                                                                     Sincerely,
PCF


  


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It's a Beautiful Day

-
Image
The day after meeting with the adoption disclosure worker at the Children's Aid Society (CAS), I received a call that would change my life forever.  I will never forget where I was standing in my home, my mom was only one room away.  The person on the other end of the line was quite brief and told me that they had found a biological relative match.  If she hadn't sounded so clinical I would have thought I was being punked! I honestly never thought that anything would come of the paperwork that I had filled out just one day prior. Part of me was excited and curious but the other part of me was terrified. The fantasy was over, shit was about to get real. I had so many questions...all leaning towards the negative Who was this person? What would she want from me? What if she tried to take over my family life? What if I was the product of rape or something terrible? What if I hurt my parents? Did I really want this information after all, or should I bury m
Read more

Hallmark Doesn't Make a Card for this Kind of Mother's Day

-
Image
Although Mother’s Day is still a few weeks away, the cards in the store and constant online reminders quickly trigger the stress and anxiety I feel every year. It seems no matter what I do, I can’t get this holiday right.  Either I feel like I didn’t do enough, or I do nothing at all…and I’ve hurt everyone’s feelings.  Between my birthmother and my mom, every year it is an emotional tug-of-war that makes me feel like I’m leaving my birthmother out, or not being fair to my mom. I lived in another province for about a decade, so I was able to avoid the holiday almost completely. Honestly, I didn’t even want to think about it   and actively tried to spend as little time on it as I could. I have now moved back to the same province that they are both in. So, I had no choice but to face my anxiety and emotions head on.   I needed to think about how I could possibly honour both of them and feel good about it. I once had another adoptive mother explain to me how
Read more

Am I “Chosen” or Rejected?

-
Image
Using the term "chosen" to describe an adoptee can be quite controversial.  Some adoptees more strongly identify with being rejected or taken away from their biological family rather than being chosen by their adoptive family.  In order to be chosen, it means that someone else did not choose them. So, how can adoptees, birth parents and adoptive parents navigate this? Is it possible? Or are children who are adopted sentenced to feeling rejection for life? As an adoptee myself, I can share only my opinion. Allow me to explain why I personally resonate with being chosen rather than left behind or given up.  As an adult in my 30's, almost 15 years into reunion with my birthmother, my eyes are wide open to loss and circumstance, and yet I am forever chosen Let's start with loss. Many adoptees describe the act of being placed for adoption as an early trauma. Often one that they don't consciously experience or comprehend until they are i
Read more